Best Quotes From "Pangs" - A Buffy Thanksgiving

"Pangs" is one of my favorite episodes. The writers and actors had a great time exploring all the various pros and cons of celebrating Thanksgiving Day, and we get to see Buffy showing that she can also Slay the Culinary Arts in the kitchen. Angel makes a cameo, unbeknownst to Buffy, and Spike has to be tied to a chair in order to behave, but gets to eat some gravy as a reward. Xander contracts syphilis as Native American revenge, but then finds a cure. There's a LOT to be thankful for!

Read the complete script Here on Buffyworld

Some of the best quotes:

BUFFY: You know what I should do? I should have my own Thanksgiving.Invite all you guys, cook the whole meal just ike Mom always does. It'll be great!
WILLOW: Buffy, earlier you agreed with me about Thanksgiving. It's a sham! It's all about death!
BUFFY: It's a sham, but it's a sham with yams. A yam sham.
WILLOW: You're not going to jokey-rhyme your way out of this one.

GILES: Tell me again why we're not doing this at your house.
BUFFY: Giles, if you want to get by in American society you have to learn our traditions. You're the patriarch. You have to host the festivities or it's all meaningless.
GILES: And this is in no way an elaborate scheme to stick me with the clean up.

Spike peers through a dusty window into a dilapidated building. Inside, in a pool of golden lamp-light, a small nest of vampires is settling down with a dazed human victim. An older vampire is about to bite. Then he pauses and holds the whimpering victim out to a younger vampire. A heart-warming domestic scene. Spike watches, his breath frosting the window, a picture of misery and longing.

RILEY (Talking about his home in Iowa) ... After dinner, we all go for a walk down by the river with the dogs. And there's... trees, and I know what you're thinking, it's like I grew up in a Grant Wood painting.
BUFFY Exactly. If I knew who that was.
RILEY Just a guy who painted stuff that looked like what I grew up in.
BUFFY: Ah. Well, have fun at the homestead.
RILEY: Always do. What's the line -- "Home's the place that, when you have to go there --"
BUFFY: "-- they have to take you in." That's what they say.

BUFFY: We don't say Indian.
GILES: Yes! Right. Always behind on the terms. Still trying not to refer to you lot as 'bloody colonials'.
BUFFY: The thing is, I like my evil like my men: evil. You know, straight up, black hat, tie you to the railroad tracks, soon my electroray will destroy metropolis BAD. Not all mixed up with guilt and the destruction of an indigenous culture.

BUFFY: What happened to the Chumash?
WILLOW: How about imprisonment? Forced labor? Herded like animals into a mission full of bad European diseases?
BUFFY: Boy, the Cultural Partnership center really didn't stress any of that stuff.

XANDER: Can we come rocketing back to the part about me and my new syphilis?
ANYA: Oh, that'll make you blind and insane, but it won't kill you. The smallpox will.
XANDER: Sweetie... not helping.

GILES: Buffy, Xander is in real danger. Are you sure the solution is pie?
BUFFY: Over bickering and confusion? I'll take pie.

GILES: We will find a solution --
BUFFY: And we will have a nice dinner. Okay? Both. End of story. I'm having a Thanksgiving. It's going to be perfect.

SPIKE: Help me...
Buffy slams a palm to his chest, sends him flying back on his ass. He scrambles out of the direct sunlight, his blanket beginning to smoke.
SPIKE: What part of "help me" did you not understand?
BUFFY: The part where I help you.
SPIKE: Come on! I'm parboiling out here!

SPIKE: I'm saying Spike had a little trip to the vet and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore. I can't bite anything. I can't even hit people.

Spike is being tied to a chair. Buffy finishes the last knot as he complains:
SPIKE: Bloody hell, woman! You're cutting off my circulation.
BUFFY: You don't have any circulation.
SPIKE: Well it pinches.

SPIKE: Oh, someone put a stake in me!
XANDER: You got a lot of volunteers in here...

SPIKE: I just can't take this mamby-pamby boo-hooing over the bloody Indians!
WILLOW: The preferred term is --
SPIKE: You won! All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do! That's what Caesar did, he's not going around saying "I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it"! The history of the world is not people making friends. You had better weapons, you massacred them, end of story!

XANDER: Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but some of that made sense.

SPIKE: Do you know what happens to a vampire that doesn't get to feed?
GILES: Actually, I've always wondered.
SPIKE: Living skeletons, mate. Like famine pictures from those dusty countries, only not half as funny.

BUFFY: You can have gravy. Gravy has blood in it, right?
SPIKE: You know what else has blood in it? Blood!

(After the Chumash Warrior turns into a bear)
SPIKE: You made a bear!
BUFFY: I didn't mean to!
SPIKE: Undo it! Undo it!

XANDER: Hey! Gentle Ben! Over here!
Not getting a reaction, Xander grabs a bag of raw, unpeeled potatoes. He starts lobbing them at the bear.
XANDER: (to the bear)That's for giving me syphilis!

WILLOW: ... did you see me? Two seconds of conflict with an indigenous person and I turn into General Custer.

BUFFY: It wasn't exactly a perfect Thanksgiving.
XANDER: I don't know. It kinda seemed right to me. A bunch of anticipation, a big fight and now we're all sleepy.

Slayer Soundtrack Sunday ~ Bif Naked

Bif Naked's name is a play on her name Beth and the phrase "buff naked," which fits right into Buffy the Vampire Slayer canon. She is a Canadian/American singer with a soulful voice and an interesting goth background. Her videos remind me of Pink's later work - clearly an influence!

Via Canadian Expat on Wordpress:

For anyone who doesn’t know Bif she was born in New Delhi, India to two teenage Americans attending a private school there which resulted in her being adopted by missionaries and being brought back to the US. From elementary age on she lived in The Pas, Dauphin, and finally Winnipeg, Manitoba. She has a bit of a gothic look, lots of tattoos and an amazing voice. She’s been called Gwen Stefani’s evil twin which I’m sure she hates because she’s unique in her own right, and well, much more awesome.
Since I heard her last she’s released 2 more albums, acted in various shows and movies, continued to write poetry, and has done motivational speaking.

From Huffington Post

...Bif Naked has made a career out of being a badass chick. Initially, it was by way of the late-'90s CanRock boys club, prowling Edgefest stages, infiltrating rock radio and even performing at the Hellmouth-adjacent all-ages club on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
More recently, the heavily tattooed singer has become known as a badass chick in another venue -- the B.C. Cancer Agency's Vancouver Centre, where she successfully beat breast cancer with a lumpectomy and chemo back in 2008-2009. She now returns regularly, boldly confronting her own fragile mortality to encourage those women still fighting for their lives.

Lucky:



Moment of Weakness:



Bif Naked's songs appear in the fourth season of Buffy, episode 3 "The Harsh Light of Day," all from the album with a great title "I Bificus" - a reference to "I Spartacus," from the Kirk Douglas movie. The three songs are "Lucky," "Moment of Weakness," and "Anything" (which unfortunately has no video I can find). The song "Lucky" is included on "Buffy: The Album."




In this episode, Spike uses the fabled Gem of Amarra ring to make himself invincible to sunlight. Eventually Buffy defeats him and decides to give the ring to Angel in Los Angeles. This is the reverse of what happens at the end of the series, when Buffy rejects Angel and gives the "champion" medallion to Spike, who by that time has proven his love and loyalty, and won back his soul. And of course, in the "harsh light" of that rare gem he fries himself to kill the demons underground and save the world.



This is considered a "cross-over" episode because action continues on the show "Angel," episode "In the Dark," when Spike goes to LA to get the Gem of Amarra back from Angel, torturing him with exposure to light. Nice contrast with the episode titles - "Harsh Light" versus "In the Dark."



The title also refers to disillusionment with relationships, as Buffy wakes up to regrets for sleeping with Parker (see this previous post about "Beer Bad"), and Anya strips down to throw herself at Xander, with unsatisfactory results. Another disillusioned woman is the vampiress Harmony, who realizes that Spike doesn't love her but merely uses her for sex. The point of all three stories is that it's easy to confuse sex with love, and that feelings often aren't mutual.

Slayer Soundtrack Sunday ~ Beer Bad

In "Beer Bad," episode 5 of Season 4, Buffy is depressed after breakup with boyfriend Parker, who has dumped her after a one-night-stand. Depressed, Buffy starts hanging out in the local bar where Xander works, and soon begins to drown her sorrows in beer with some philosophy students.



The beer is literally a "brew" called "Black Frost" that has been hexed by vampires to turn the local kids into Neanderthals. Thus, College Buffy turns into Cave Slayer, and is taken home to her dorm by Xander. Meanwhile, Willow decides to put glib Parker in his place by letting him believe she can be seduced, then criticizing his way with women. But they both get trapped after the Cave Boys rush in and start a fire in the coffee shop. Buffy rescues them, but later knocks Parker on the head with a stick, showing she has her mojo back and he can't make her feel bad anymore.



This is one of my favorite episodes of Buffy. It's a cautionary tale about boys and alcohol, capturing the archetypal college experience of getting dumped by a boyfriend, feeling alone, and seeking solace at a bar with strangers. Drugs and alcohol make everyone act differently, so this script takes that to a new level with the cave-dweller imagery. Some fans and critics have called it a preachy message, and resented that Buffy "caved" in to depression and self-doubt, but I think the episode works best for people with a sense of humor. Lighten up and be entertained! If this happened on Gilligan's Island, people would just laugh. Wait a minute, it did happen on Gilligan's Island!

The Buffy Guide has some cool insight:

There are traces of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, in which Jekyll drank a potion which unleashed his monstrous dark side. The cave guys, which remind us of the apes in 2001: A Space Odyssey, are a pretty stereotypical depiction of the common-man's concept of cave men and Neanderthals.

From a BBC Interview with Producer Doug Petrie:

Doug Petrie: Beer Bad. Again, light and fluffy, as we say. It came from the brain of Tracy Forbes, a Canadian writer who was on our staff. We were just trying to mine the college experience as much as possible and what happens there. Well, very young people get unlimited access to alcohol and become horrible! We all do it - or most of us do it - and live to regret it, and we wanted to explore that. So the metaphor of college boys - intellectual college boys who drink and become Neanderthals - is pretty straight up. It's a metaphor.

BBC : At this point in the season we are seeing the fallout from the relationship between Buffy and Parker too.

Doug Petrie: We did want - and Joss wanted - a kind of harsh college experience. Of giving your heart and body to someone when you're not experienced in either, and having them use you and split, you know.

BBC : Do you think it was very cut and dried who was right and who was wrong, or do you think Parker to a certain extent had a point: that Buffy shouldn't have got so emotionally involved?

Doug Petrie: I think in reality the right and wrong of it is very fuzzy. I think that on our show Parker was portrayed as a little more... I think that those things do happen and I think that Parker had a little bit of a responsibility to listen to Buffy and he owed her at least a good solid conversation, and I think he just kind of blew her off. Also, the fans had a very strong response to it. We were surprised. I'm pretty sure from the internet and from what I've heard, the fans just hated it.

BBC : Hated what?

Doug Petrie: That Buffy was jumping into a relationship and that this guy would treat her so callously. But also we were getting a lot of stuff from the first half dozen or so episodes of the first quarter of the season where people were saying, "We're tired of Buffy being abused and Buffy being wimpy and Buffy being battered about by the forces of college." There was a pretty strong fan response. They felt that she was being kicked around by Spike, by Sunday, and by Parker, Not at all the strong character that people love to see.

This was a very conscious choice - we had to ride that out because we didn't want her to find her strength immediately in this new setting. But fans were pretty outspoken about how to find her sea legs now and eventually she did.

Episode Clips - notice Buffy's hair, which earned the stylist an Emmy nomination!





Music:

Kim Ferron ~ Nothing but You
Xander plays this on the Jukebox



Luscious Jackson ~ Ladyfingers
This is the Video Buffy watches on TV
"I want pretty people."



THC ~ Overfire
Oz's werewolf friend Veruca plays this with her fake TV band "Shy"